Catalina Garcia

You have been on my mind so much lately. I feel as if my spiritual life has come to a stand still. (not bad, just still) One thing that has brought me joy, as I am at church on stage singing, is the picture memory I have in my mind of you praising the Lord. The way you moved, clapped your hands, closed your eyes, sang, raised your hands, cried, prayed, all is still in my mind. Sometimes I can still see you in the audiance dancing, without a care of who saw you and what people would say. It is a memory that will forever inspire me and lift my spirit. In a way its you telling me that my praise should only be for the Lord and for no one else. Mami, you were and keep being a great insperation to me. I think about you all the time, I miss you more than words could say.

    This memory of my mother goes to show what a wonderful mother she was. I remember I was about in 3rd or 4th grade when my mom worked in Mission Hospital. I remember her shift was from about 4-11pm. I used to stay up and wait till she got home so I could spend alittle time w/ her before the day was done,and I had to go to sleep for school the next day. One night I was telling her that I didn't like her working so late and that I missed having her at home. After that I forgot about my conversation w/ my mom and dismissed it as a adult choice and that it was not up to me. But then not even a week later my mom told me she had gotton a new job @ Mission Nursing Home across the street. I realized latter as a teen what a risk my single mother took  by leaving her very secure job and stop to look for a job w/ better hours just to be able to spend more time at home w/ her children.  There wasn't anything my mom would't have done for us.

I have so many memories about mom. Some good and others not so good. But every memory is worth thinking about and will stay in my heart . If  I only had enough time to tell you all but I dont so I will tell you some.     My mom started helping me sing at church when I was only seven years old. She stood by my side, really she stood right beside me everytime. Even on the songs where she wasnt singing with me. I would make her go up and hold my hand while I sang a song that she had helped me learn. When I got older and it no longer looked cute having my mom next to me she told me she wouldn't hold my hand anymore. I didn't know how I was going to do it with out her. But she was still there watching me, everytime. And now when I sing I still wish her hand was in mine, but I know that even though I can't have her next to me, she is watching me. And as I teach my boys the same way she tought me one day I will also have to let go. I only wish she was here to keep me strong. There is still so much she could have tought me, but I know the seed she planted deep in me will keep growing . And my boys are blessed because I had a mother who stood by my side.